


Shrinking Buzz

by Acornz



Category: Bee Movie (2007)
Genre: Crack, Crack with Plot, Expanding on a crackfic I made in the caption of something I posted on Insta, Future beestiality(?), HALP ME, Original Character(s), Other, Reader-Insert, Science, Slow Burn, Tried to make reader as gender ambiguous as possible, reader goes to college and has a job, should this be serious oml
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2018-12-23 04:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11981820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acornz/pseuds/Acornz
Summary: You're just a normal adult until you stumble upon a gun thing? It's a ray, cool.Oh yeah, there's also a bee that talks.





	1. Science Can Bite Your Ass

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to expand on a reader-insert I made in the caption of a post on my Instagram-  
> A crackfic with Barry B. Benson yo

“You there!! The one with the stupid blush! What did you do!?”

 

You eyed the destruction around you, the happy crowd around you suddenly turning into a sour mob. Yeah, um, how’d you get here again?

 

~~~~

 

It was another day: get up, go to classes, go to work, waste your time as the adult you finally were, and go home. You really weren’t supposed to be at some random science fair! Or was it a convention? Either way, the large room was filled with people donned in lab coats, sporting glasses, and old. You adjusted your white jacket, looking at the chandeliers high in the air, some random drone zooming past. Old men with receding hairlines or balding heads were heard yelling out a “HURRAH” in the only way old people could- with an adorable wheeze in their voices.

 

A harsh shove to your shoulder made you stumble, falling to the ground as you’re caged in with arms and legs.

 

“Dude! Get off me!!” You struggled, the person above wheezing and- wait, why’re they growling at _YOU?_

 

“I-I can’t, I’m so sorry-”

 

“Why not?!”

 

Your eyes finally meet theirs, their unnaturally vivid violet orbs piercing yours. What even-?

 

“You. You’re perfect.”  They rose up as they basically straddled your torso, shrugging off their white lab coat in a way that reminded you of the spider crawl from the Exorcist.

 

What even bro.

 

“U-Um..”

 

“You, y-you’re perfect!” Getting a better look at the stranger, they actually looked similar to you, sans the pretty eye color- Jesus, if there was a better word for “freaky clone” you’d use it. Suddenly, their breath fanning onto your face and neck, they haphazardly tried to get their lab coat on you, stuffing your arms in the sleeves whilst sputtering “do this for me, don’t leave”.

 

Yeah, if you had any regrets, it was not beating your time in Mario Kart.

 

Coat off and free, the lookalike hopped up with a crazed smile on their face, and they reached behind their back only to toss a giant bag on you, forcing you back on your ass after your attempt to get up.

 

“THERE THEY ARE!!” A wild horde of old men and women appeared, holding clipboards menacingly, shaking and running towards you- OH SHIT.

 

_YEP. I’M GONE._

 

As your clone yeets away, you stumble and start making a run for the double doors you just came through- never again will you bother to look at sciency shit again, nope, no way-

 

“ATTACK!!”

 

_What’s the use, man?_ You thought as you were put into a dogpile of old folks.

 

“Dr. Az, why do you keep running away!? You know you have a presentation for your newest invention! We all want to see what your brilliant mind has made for us this time!!” A stout man with glasses exclaimed. The old people suddenly rose with mumbles of “My back” and “I’m not as young as I used to be”, and they dragged you to another room.

 

“I-I’m not Dr. Az-”

 

“Hurry, to the stage!!” The short man leaped onto the podium, mic in hand as he yelled into the mic.

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PRESENTING THE ONE AND ONLY DR. AZ!!”

 

A roar of cheers and claps attacked from all sides of the room as you stood in shock, stupidly holding your look-alike’s bag. _Well, I guess I can play the part?_

 

“Dr. Az has supported our small community with their advances in neurological and the phantasmal sciences!” You nod with a small smile, before you freeze looking at the crowd.

 

_Phantasmal? Did I hear that right? What’s that?_

 

“With their support and inventions, we’re actually closer than ever to unlocking the secrets to a nether region-”

 

Pfft, nether region~

 

“-which we call The Void. Enough about their successes, because here’s a new one!” The audience roared and burst into fireworks of clapping. “Dr., please proceed!” The old scientist wheezed happily and slowly backed away. You smooth out the imaginary creases in your- sorry, your dear clone’s lab coat, and reached into the lumpy bag strapped on your shoulder.

 

“Ah, um, yes, today I have-”

 

“Dr. Az is speaking!?”

 

“But I’m used to hearing giggles!!”

 

“WHAT’S HAPPENING?!”

 

Jesus, did someone just have a heart attack at table four?

 

“As I was saying, um..” You bashfully hold up a big… gun(?) about the size of your forearm, but about as thick as a small dog. Little buttons and knobs dotted the left side, and an orb glowed faintly, dizzying swirls of the rainbow and pitch black invading your eyes. All that was left was…

 

A trigger.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Ah, yeah, that’s what happened. You had pulled the trigger after poking the colorful orb, a giant ray shooting forth and altering reality as you knew it.

 

A table of old ladies with pristine gloves and lab coats were shrunk, and a motionless man grew exponentially till the ceiling began to crack, the chandeliers shaking. All the people in the room grew silent, their polite smiles morphing into horrifying scowls.

 

The mob of old folks wrinkled and contorted until they looked straight out of a horror flick.

 

“Dr. Az, what is the meaning of this-?!”

 

“Dr. Berings!! Get your bearings, _please-_ ”

 

“Where’d Dr. Annalee go?! Was she at the table that shrunk?!”

 

“Dr. Az, why did you-”

 

“-use us-”

 

“-test subjects, why-”

 

“-how COULD you?!”

 

A symphony of angry people, just great.

 

Circling around you, you quickly bagged the gun sheepishly, and decided to parkour the fuck outta there; or parkour as much as you could, you managed to hop onto a table and dodge the bodyslam of a very large man. Running and leaping as far as you could, your breathing heavy, you made it over four tables, scientists of all sizes rising up and beginning to race after you. The door was just two tables ahead-!

 

The door-!

 

_BZZT. ALERT ALERT. WARNING AZ, CODE B._

 

To your horror a set of bars appeared from the ceiling, beginning their descent onto your only exit. It was now or never. Filled with a burst of adrenaline and fear, you lunged after the double doors, fumbling at the last table with your heavy steps. One wrong step set on propelling you to the doors dipped the edge of the table, flipping you both. With a yelp, you thank god no one was seated close to the doors of heaven; the mob behind you, you stumbled to your feet again. Bashing your shoulder against the doors, they opened, you dashing out as the metal bars finally settled to the floor.

 

You were safe.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You were wheezing, running as fast as you could with a bag that felt like it bore the weight of the world in it. What the ever loving _fuck_ did you just witness?! Never mind that, what did you _do_?!

 

Whoever that Dr. Az was, your lookalike, apparently they were a force to be reckoned with. They made a shrink ray! A FUCKING SHRINK RAY! How the FUCK did that even HAPPEN?!

 

_Man, if I were that smart, midterms wouldn’t be such a pain…_

 

Looking behind you, your hair whipping your face, you were slightly relieved to see no angry scientists behind you. Sweet Jesus, that was a horrifying experience. Passing a few stores, many people on the sidewalk, and a few dogs, you were pretty sure you’d made enough distance to call yourself safe. Looking for street names, you confirmed you’d ran at least four blocks away from the horror. Great.

 

Your small apartment was the other way. ‘Kay then, it was time to use your street smarts to calmly walk back the way you came and-

 

“Dr. Az!!”

 

“TRAITOR!!”

 

The giant mob of scientists had found you?! They ran, a rumble reaching your ears as they held pens and clipboards so menacingly, angry wrinkled faces looking at you and only you.

 

_BUT I WAS RUNNING!! OKAY THEN, TIME TO USE MY STREET SMARTS-_

 

Aha! A bus! You hopped on, sliding your student pass and leaping to a seat in the back, the mob hot on your heels.

 

_-ON THE BUS I GO!!!!_

 

As the doors closed, you looked back at the sea of white lab coats shrinking from view. Heh, shrinking. At least you were free for SURE.

 

An hour later the bus stopped on a street near your lair, leading you to hop off, a skip in your step.

 

Science could bite your ass.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking up the steps, key in hand, you sigh and bring your hand up to your door softly- you could hear the angels sing, you could feel the earth rotating, you could _finally_ get some sweet silence from the crazy day you had. Slamming the door with a twirl, you pop off your shoes, _carefully_ place the bag with the shrink ray on the sofa, and plop down with another sigh.

 

_No more crazy science biz, yaaaaay…._

 

You hear a weak buzzing sound, and look to see your window ajar just slightly, and you notice a bee trying to fly. Not a stranger to seeing weak bees, you get up to make a sugar water mixture in a small bowl, using a paper towel to soak up the liquid. Walking over to the window sill, you cup the bee just as it falls into your hand, and OH JESUS.

 

Shrieking, you drop the poor thing onto the soaked paper towel, the bee’s… FACE expressing fatigue. What kind of freak of nature was this?! Bees don’t have faces! Not like _humans._

 

With a shudder, you nope the heck back onto the couch, eyeing the bee and seeing it BREATHE, it’s tiny mouth open. You give a small “Eugh..” and turn the TV on.

 

Science please go away.


	2. The Ugly Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when you think you're safe from all things science related, the MIB show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to motivation, I got this done faster than expected!!~ I'm just really confused on why AO3 says I post stuff a day later than I actually do (I edited my time zone and all, lol).  
> Nonetheless! Here's the second chapter in this weird crack fic I'm actually taking seriously!(?)~

With the sun pouring in and trying to melt your face off, you turn only to fall off the sofa. Yay, day made. Flipping the coffee maker on, you drowsily made your way back to your couch and oh.

 

The window sill. The bowl. That thing was still in it.

 

You look around to see the bag with the SHRINK RAY ON THE GROUND OH MY GOD-

Noting the glowing orb, you basically hot potato’d the thing of mass destruction as you gently set it upon a cushion. Backing up slowly, you rush to get a cup of hot coffee and slowly set yourself down in front of the ray. The black orb swirled with yellows and blues this time, pulsating and giving out a faint hum.  

 

_Maybe if I just look at it, and not touch it… The law of strippers. Yeah.._

 

You blow steam off the rim of your hot mug, eyeing the gun suspiciously. It was only yesterday when your life changed: you met your clone (who was apparently a super smart scientist), you shrank people, and you were chased by so many old people like you were the best grandchild ever. Everything over a shrink gun that you’d use if it could make your actual problems go away. Now that you thought about it, where would you hide the gun? The closet is too simple, and you just can’t keep something as dangerous as a shrink ray out in the open-!

 

_Bzz!!_

 

Oh God, the bee- it’s awake now.

 

You set your mug down on the little coffee table, blinking at the window, the little body of the insect flying against the window and hitting itself each time it bounced on the glass. Ouch, and that thing had a face too- that had to hurt. You strode to the window sill, grabbing the bowl with the once wet paper towel with sugar water. The bee was still flying against your window, and you couldn’t help but cringe- bee or freak, the poor thing was struggling.

 

“Yo, bee dude, stop flying for a second.” You walk back into your little kitchen, turned on the tap, added sugar to the water and started to stir again. Gazing from the bowl to your window, you notice the bee was sitting on the window sill. _Sitting like a person would._

 

You shiver, but you suck it up- judging a weird looking bee wasn’t gonna get you closer to a degree or a promotion at GameStop.

 

“Ah, shi-!” What time was it?!

 

It was ten thirty. You had ten minutes till your shift started. Clumsily placing the bowl on the window sill, your eyes widen as you frantically sped off to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash away the sins of yesterday.

 

If you actually had gotten a good look at the bee, you would’ve seen it looking at you intently, smiling softly.

 

~~~~~

 

“Thank you for shopping at GameStop!!” Smiling at the kind person who decided to buy a game and add to your paycheck, you give a small bow and turn to restock the shelves. Working at a video game store was any casual gamer’s dream- paradise in the shape of a magical box, discounts on new releases, and fan discussions with customers if you were lucky made you feel like this was nirvana. A beautiful dream away from college algebra and-

 

-huh?

 

Two tall men in black walked in with a piece of paper, and when they saw you, they practically ran over other customers just to get the the register. The bald one pointed a meaty finger at you.

 

“Are you Dr. Az?”

 

“Um…” You pointed at your name tag shyly. The suited man with hair smacked the bald one upside the head, mumbling “Idiot! Dr. Az doesn’t have a first name!!” Poor baldy had a red mark on his head as you looked at the piece of paper. Yep, it was your clone, giving the stink eye at the camera.

 

Nice.

 

“We’re sorry, you just really looked like this doctor here. Everything except the eyes…” The dude with hair gave an angry glare to his bald friend- well, at least you thought it was a glare, they were both wearing shades. The bald one flinched and you couldn’t help but feel a mix of confusion and empathy for the guy.

 

_Who wears shades indoors besides hipsters? No, more importantly, is that guy okay?_

 

“We’ll just leave..”

 

With a tug at your heartstrings, the two dudes started walking out of the store sadly. You couldn’t stand to see sad faces. “Wait!! Um…. Would you like the Nintendo Switch? And Super Mario Odyssey?” You gestured to the big sign near you, and the bald man perked up immediately.

 

“I’ve actually planned on getting it for Christmas, but..”

 

In the end, you sold a console and two copies of Super Mario Odyssey, so all was well. Looking at the clock, you noticed you had three more hours till you were free. Seeing how all the other customers were still browsing, you unlocked your phone with the skills of a ninja and opened up Google.

 

_Dr. Az? Scientist conventions yesterday? Can bees have faces like people?_

 

Nothing came up for your first search besides some annoying dog gifs, and instead of science conventions you were given the dates and places for the nearest anime cons (which would’ve been fine and dandy if “FURRILICIOUS CONVENTION 2!!” didn’t slam people in furry suits with bikinis at you.). As for the bee question, Google only came up with “Bees can recognize faces!” Nothing too interesting there.

 

You checked the time- only ten minutes had passed. Noticing a boy shyly fidgeting in front of the register, you put your phone up and walk over with a smile.

 

~~~~~

 

After your shift ended and you skipped all the way back to your apartment, you grabbed the tub of ice cream and decided it was about time you treated yourself! You basically just survived seeing the men in black, and you’ve technically been in possession of a shrink ray not available to the public- the LEAST you could do was play some good old Halo.

 

Popping the top off the ice cream, you dug a huge spoon in to signal your victory over the men in black- Sure they weren’t as scary as they _could’ve_ been, but hey, at least you made them happy!

 

_Bzzz!!_

 

Oh come on, not even five minutes in Halo and chill and the _BEE IS STILL IN THE HOUSE_ . You left the window slightly open for a reason: for it to fly away when it was feeling better! NORMAL bees always did that, so  _WHY COULDN’T THIS ONE?_

 

_Well, if it has a face, maybe it has a different way of thinking too?_ You shrugged, the game block gone from your mind as you turned back to the TV screen, making Master Chief jump and shoot at the same time, spoon in mouth.

 

“Hey, um-”

 

“Ah! Stupid alien- LET ME SHOOT YOU!!”

 

Using your pistol in-game you rapidly fire at the evil alien and get bombed from above- crud. Instant death. You groan and wait to respawn at the checkpoint before you realize- Didn’t someone else talk besides you?

 

You heard a cough. Bro, you guessed it and you was right.

 

You spun around in your sofa, the shrink ray almost falling off (you really had to find a place for that, honestly). Your eyes dart around wildly, your spoon sliding out of your mouth a bit. Evasive maneuvers!!

 

“Show yourself!!” You eyed the gun with shaky eyes. “I-I’ve got a gun and I’m not afraid to use it!” Crap, you stuttered- you were afraid, very afraid. If anything, you felt like someone chose the worst time to game block you again.

 

_Game gods, if you let me survive whatever type of mugging this is, I’ll put off playing video games and actually work harder in my classes, I’ll even stop making puns at bad times, I’ll quit playing Candy Crush in the bathroom, I’ll probably give up sugar for a day-_

 

Coughing and buzzing met your ears. You could hear a pin drop in the living room if those two sounds could just shut up.

 

“Um, to your left.”

 

You turned to your left, your hair whipping your face. You could feel the tiny droplet of sweat trickle down your forehead. There was nothing to your left, except….

 

The ugly bee.

 

Okay, maybe it wasn’t _that_ ugly, but since it was the first of it’s kind (that you knew of), you were sure it was at least able to apply for plastic surgery if it wanted with that visage.

 

You looked to your right instead- maybe it was their left? No, they said _your_ left, but there was only a bee-

 

Your eyes widen and you realize with a sense of horror that if that _thing_ had a _mouth…._

 

_Wouldn’t it be able to speak?_

 

You shakily move your hand behind you, feeling for the shrink ray. You can hear the hum of the gun as your fingertips brush against the side where the orb was. If you could just get a good grip-

 

“I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t shoot me- I’m not one for taking a hit.”

 

Oh my God.

 

You turn back to face the bee as it flies in a circle around you. It lands on your spoon, which fell out of your open mouth and into the ice cream tub. It leans against the edge of the tub, slips a bit, and settles for standing up straight. It gives you a shy grin and you can’t help but just _stare._

 

“I’m not much into dairy cheesy openings, but d’ya like Jazz?”

 

Looks like you’re not making puns for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh sugar~ Oh, honey honey~  
> I'm already working on ch.3- I'm actually inspired thanks to the kudos and comment I got on the first chapter!  
> Tbh I was surprised this fic would even get any hits, but hey, thanks for reading bros!~  
> Keep an eye out for the next chapter... If you dare~  
> ;3


	3. I Said You Looked Fugly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He speaks! What even?!  
> Also, there's ice cream cuz you're a sweet person~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Low-key surprised I got this chapter up quickly- should I have a schedule so I post on a certain day instead?  
> THE PLOT IS HAPPENING BROS~~~

Holy fettuccine of all things pasta related _what is going on?_

 

First you get the men in black at your place of employment (of all the places in the world) asking if you’re the mysterious Dr. Az, second is the fact that you kinda sorta got a shrink ray from the same doctor in a weird turn of events at a scientist kumbaya fest of some kind, and thirdly this… this..!

 

 _Bee. It’s talking to_ you.

 

Why you of all people? Was it because you saved it’s life? Maybe there was something radioactive in the sugar you put in it’s water!! You look at the bag of sugar and shiver at the thought of a sugarless life; twas but a small price to pay in order to prevent any creature from speaking.

 

No, the bee was already creepy enough with a face that reminded you of Jerry Seinfeld, but since it had a mouth, and was sad enough to hit itself against the window trying to escape, it already showed signs of being a higher being.

 

A higher bee-ing? Whatever. The point was, it could actually talk! And it was talking to you! This had to be a nightmare.

 

Looking down at the bee, you could just feel your eyes practically bulge out of their sockets before you did what you believed the hero of a reader-insert would do for survival.

 

You screamed.

 

Flipping the ice cream tub off of you, you grab the shrink ray gun and jump over your couch, looking for anything else to protect yourself. Hearing your precious ice cream go _splat_ on your carpet made you blink back invisible tears, and you tensed yourself seeing your shoes by the door. You could hear the buzzing of the bee as he “Woah!”s and flies towards you. Crawling and stumbling faster, you turn to see the bee’s face mere inches from yours.

 

It’s still a bee, that means it _can_ sting you!

 

Rolling away from the creature, you grab a shoe and yeet it as hard as you can at the bee. Shit, it dodged it.

 

“What-” Another shoe. “-the-” Slippers! “-FUCK-” Goodbye, slippers. “-are-” Hey, it’s that umbrella you keep forgetting about! “-you?!”

 

“Jeez, could you cut a guy some slack? I’m barely hanging on here!” You see the thing _shrug_ at you, and besides the fact that you’re afraid it’ll sting you and turn you into a radioactive superhero, you’re filled with _anger._ How _dare_ this thing never leave your home, how _dare_ it interrupt your gaming session, and how _dare_ it make you throw your favorite brand and flavor ice cream to the depths!

 

Okay, you were more mad at yourself for throwing the tub at the bee; even if you were scared, food was sacred.

 

_BUT STILL._

 

“I’m sorry if everything is-” Aha! Your keys! “- _going over your head,_ but I’m not a fan of intruders _buzzing in!_ ” Okay, those puns were bad, even for you.

 

You’d have to let the narrator know when to pick up the slack.

 

“I guess you could say that!” The bee laughs, _hands_ (?) on it’s stomach. Oh, ho, ho, ho, _hell_ no. This dude was _not_ making fun of Santa Claus! You furrow your brows, the bee’s laughter actually echoing in your home- it made you feel more alone and scared than you should’ve been.

 

“Look, before you throw anything at me again, I’m Barry! I live at the hive in Sheep Meadow!” Barry smiles at you, and you can tell that it’s a genuine smile. Too bad it looked kinda weird on him, being a bee and all.

 

“I’m…” You gulp like the smartass you were. “....not into Jazz.”

 

You sit in the fetal position, your arms wrapped around your knees. Peering above your knees, you hope you’re giving Barry a solid glare right now.

 

_Can you hear my heart break for my ice cream?_

 

Apparently you weren’t glaring well enough as Barry laughed at you. He fluttered over to a chair in your little dining room and sat atop it.

 

“Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot, but can you at least let me say what I need to say? Before I go?”

 

You quirk your eyebrow. This should be interesting. You wave your hand lazily at him. “Please, proceed.”

 

Barry smiles and stands up. “Look, I didn’t know you’d get that mad over Jazz, but anyways, the name’s Barry! Barry B. Benson. I just wanted to say…” He looked almost shy as he scuffed his foot- was he wearing sneakers?!- on the top of the chair as he looked down. He gave you a glance from under his eyelashes.

 

Yeah, those were eyelashes alright.

 

“I really just wanted to thank you, for helping me out yesterday… and the day before..”

 

You blink as..Was he-? Was that _a blush?_

 

It was actually kinda adorable in a weird way.

 

“Humans… Bees actually aren’t supposed to talk to them, so I could be in trouble if anyone found out about…” He makes a wide gesture with his hands (?). You lift your head a bit more, your ‘glare’ probably morphed into an expression of confusion.

 

“You just gestured to all of me.”

 

“Yeah, yeah I did.”

 

Okay then.

 

“So um… That’s it really. I really appreciate what you did, I just had to thank you before I left. It’s just the way I was raised!” He smiles at your dumbfounded face. You pinch your thigh and nope, this is definitely not a dream!

 

“Um… You’re welcome..” You meant to say that with pride and happiness, but you can’t help but feel confused about everything- so if this wasn’t a dream, what was it? You didn’t take drugs, so it wasn’t a bad trip..

 

You look at the smiling bee, and study him more. He looked like he had a buzz cut, and you were pretty sure he put gel on his hair (or was it fuzz?). What you couldn’t get over was that face- it was just _weird_ on something so small.

 

You were going to regret this, weren’t you?

 

“I, um… had some ice cream but it’s gone now..” Barry winces at that.

 

“I’m sorry for scaring you..”

 

“I-It’s okay! It’s just...um…”

 

Ready for regrets, all aboard!

 

“...Would you… like to come with me to the store to get some more?”

 

He smiled.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

“So you’re telling me I look weird?” You were walking down the sidewalk to your nearest convenience store in search of ice cream. While it wasn’t that hot outside, ice cream beat ramen by a thousand points. With Barry perched on your shoulder, you were surprised that even when he sat, his stinger didn’t impale you- maybe he could control when he took it out, who were you to judge?

 

“Well, not exactly, I said you looked fugly, but yeah, you do look kinda weird too.”

 

“So who’s Jerry Seinfeld?”

 

“Some actor, I’ve only heard of him from memes..” Why were you talking to him?

 

Not to be speciesist(?) or anything, but Barry _did_ say that he’d get in trouble from talking with you. Why was he bothering with talking to you? Was it just out of courtesy? Were you annoying him? Oh God, but didn’t he say he’d leave after saying “Thanks for not killing me” or whatevs? Oh no, did you BEENAP him? He most likely had a family at home, and you just stole him away just so you had a buddy to buy ice cream with-!

 

“Hey.” You felt a nudge on your neck, and you jump.

 

“GYAH!”

 

“I keep scaring you, I’m so sorry-!”

 

“I-It’s fine! It’s okay, it’s just-!” You notice that people walking past you had given you weird looks. Riiiight, you looked like you were talking to yourself. If only they knew.

 

You turn to Barry, who’s on your left shoulder, and try whispering “What the heck is up?”

 

Nah, that couldn’t be a blush.

 

“What’s your name?"

 

“Oh, the name’s ____. Try not to wear it out, B-Man.” You smile at him, and you catch yourself quickly, turning and facing the sidewalk. Why were you so quick to befriend him? I mean sure, you’re a nice person, but a bee?

 

_I mean, maybe I’m lonelier than I thought I was? I’m warming up to Barry faster than I warmed up to my BFF. Then again, I’m not one for insulting people often, and I called Barry fugly- Heh, at least he doesn’t know what it means, but still, it was rude of me.._

 

Were you attached to your new friend already?

 

_I need to stop insulting him… He didn’t do anything wrong, really..._

 

Soon, the convenience store stood in front of you. Not bothering to give Barry a glance, hoping you didn’t look frantic, you open the door. The bell jingles and you walk straight past the chip aisle and head for the frozen area, a small smile beginning to tear into your cheeks.

 

"Small smile" your ass, you were grinning like a madman! 

 

You start giggling when you hear an echo. No, someone else was giggling too; were they behind you?

 

Turning, your eyes widen as you stare into violet pools. Dr. Az was in the building, a hand in a sour cream and onion chip bag, the other waving at you giddily.

 

“Ah, hiya!~ _Small world,_ ain’t it?~” They giggle and grab a handful of chips and stuff their mouth. “How’s it goin’?~”

 

Your smile dropped, but you raise a hand to wave back. You could feel Barry move slightly on your shoulder. Dr. Az giggles some more, their eyes glinting happily.

 

“Now then..” They leaned in close, your foreheads almost touching. A cute grin cut into their face.

  
“Whatd’ya say to some coffee and we find a place for a _little chat, hm?~_ ”


	4. I swear on DJ Khaled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You talk a lot.  
> And Barry doesn't seem too fly at the moment-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay bros!~ So 1. I'm gonna try to update on the weekends if possible!~  
> 2\. I'm starting school tomorrow, so while that may get in the way, I'll try my best to update this shiz semi-regularly!~  
> 3\. This is still a crack fic with a plot now I'm so confused I'm legit making this up as I go, and now there's actual problems and shiz like huh I was expecting this to end at 5 chapters, but it looks like it'll take a while...  
> 4\. I'm making this a slow burn, you sweet honeybunches of oats!~

Well, you wish you could say you were fucked, but screw that, you’re a virgin cuz you never lose.

 

Dr. Az stood in front of you, swinging their chip bag almost happily if not for the small grimace on their face. Dr. Az gestured with their arm towards the freezer.

 

“Please, don’t let me interrupt; I’m not _cold hearted.~_ ”

 

You’d believe that if you didn’t notice Dr. Az tightening their grip on the bag of chips. In a weird way, you were pretty impressed; not only was Dr. Az a super smart person who happened to look just like you, they made pretty great puns too! If only they were a bit less passive-aggressive, you could see yourself becoming friends with them.

 

Barry was still on your shoulder, but he seemed to be frozen in place. Ah, right, he probably knew how weird it’d be for you to talk to him in front of someone? Maybe?

 

Either way, Dr. Az was giving you a smile worthy of the Joker.

 

“Your name…. What’s your name?~”

 

You weren’t sure if you wanted to give out your name. You could feel Barry shiver _just slightly_ and it weirded you out- Was he cold? It was kinda hot outside, so there was air conditioning inside...

 

“Fufufu...F-Forget this, let’s go!~” Dr. Az grabs your wrist roughly, tugging you harshly out the door with you giving a whine. Barry braced himself on your shoulder, still a silent bee. You turn your head to look back at the convenience store sadly-

 

-After all that effort, _you still didn’t get ice cream._

 

~~~~~

 

“Ah! Coffee is delicious, isn’t it?” Dr. Az took a giant gulp of some mocha macchiato espresso thing they ordered at the little cafe they dragged you to, sitting across from you while you fiddled with a sugar packet. While Dr. Az was kind enough to ask if you wanted anything to eat- and you ordered a muffin, thank you very much- you still couldn’t help but feel scared of them.

 

Clone, scientist, whatever, Dr. Az seemed a little _out there,_ even for you.

 

Barry had sneakily flown to your thigh, and while it was weird knowing a talking bee was sitting on your thigh as you “dropped” crumbs of your sweet muffin down to your lap, you felt a little safer knowing someone else was with you.

 

After ripping open the tenth sugar packet and dumping it into their coffee, Dr. Az actually sighed and smiled dreamily at you.

 

_Um, back up bruh._

 

“So, how’s my baby? Nothin’ bad happened to you recently, right?”

 

Did Az just call you their baby? Red ALERT-!

 

“Um, I-I’m fine, thanks for asking...Please don’t call me...b-b-b-”

 

Dr. Az exploded into giggles, holding their drink in their hands. “I-I wasn’t calling _you_ that, hahaHAHA-” As quick as it began, Dr. Az’s face turned serious and their giggles ceased.

 

“I was talking about my gun. My baby. How’s it doing? Have you used it to level cities yet?” Leaning back in their chair, Dr. Az tipped their cup back and began to chug. Their white lab coat folded on the chair, and you remembered when you were forced into a similar coat.

 

By the person in front of you, gulping down sugar and caffeine like it was the holy grail of liquids.

 

…..Shouldn’t you be asking questions instead of having a quasi-friendly chat?

 

“Doctor, I’ve been meaning to ask…” No, what’re you doing?! This is the time to get upsetti and yell, right?! “..Why did you give it to me?”

 

Dr. Az straightened up, their cup empty and their eyes lidded. Okay, what even?

 

“I gave it to you because you looked like you needed something exciting in life. Because you looked bored. Because you looked like an innocent lamb in need of corrupting..” Your heart is pounding as Dr. Az leans into your face, tilting your chin up, eyes practically glowing. You hear a faint buzzing, and you can’t help but gulp as Dr. Az leans in. The world goes silent in that instant.

 

“Y-You’re not serious are you?”

 

You’re proven right as the doctor jumps back and starts laughing, drawing some looks from the other customers. “Oh boy, nope! I’m never serious! I was just bored!~” Dr. Az looks up thoughtfully.

 

“It’d be funny if any readers thought I was talking about something else- something taken out of context…~”

 

You looked up too just to see the ceiling- Um?

 

Dr. Az looks back down, then around the floor, and hums. “Oh dear, you have a bug on you!”

 

“Oh, I do?” You look down and realize _YOU FORGOT BARRY WAS THERE._ Well, now you’re embarrassed. He probably saw the whole “Az-leaning-in-your-personal-bubble-thing”! You don’t even have enough time to breathe in as Dr. Az gives your thigh a mighty smack.

 

The sound echoes in your ears, your eyes widening as you noticed you’ve been flipping SMACKED.

 

_Oh no, Barry!! Where is he?! Barry!!_

 

Great, you haven’t even spent a full day with a talking bee and now he’s dead.

 

Dr. Az removes their hand from your thigh after an eternity, and once they bring their hand up….

 

….There’s nothing. No squashed bee, no weird bug remains. Then where did Barry go?

 

Dr. Az seems to have a look of constipated confusion as their gaze switches from their hand to your thigh. “It seems I miscalculated my speed…”

 

“It also seems like you smacked my thigh in public.”

 

Dr. Az has a faint blush on their cheeks as you say that. “P-Perhaps…”

 

Wow, who knew they had shame? But back to the task at hand: Where’d your Wiz Khalifa inspired friend go?

 

Dr. Az leans back in their chair for like the millionth time and takes out a phone. Placing it between you two, Dr. Az grins and the real interrogation begins.

 

~~~~~

 

The “little chat” you two had took about three hours- ranging from the simple “What’s your name?” (Even though you told them your name, Dr. Az put your contact in their phone as “Baby Stealer/Baby”) to “Do you play Mystic Messenger?”

 

After exchanging numbers- which you didn’t understand how it even happened, seeing as you never took out your phone- Dr. Az left you with a short list and a wet kiss on the cheek.

 

Weird, but kinda funny. Your look-alike wasn’t that bad after all!

 

Walking out of the cafe, you looked around for Barry, hoping he’d flutter to you. Did he stay behind in the cafe? Did he actually get smacked by Az?

 

To say you were worried was an understatement.

 

Whirling around, you run back inside the cafe and back to the table you were just at, and you were about to take another step until-

 

“W-Wait! Don’t move!!”

 

_Barry!!_

 

You crouch down and see your insect buddy on the floor holding his wing down. You were pretty sure he was hurt, and it was all thanks to Dr. Az.

 

Cupping him in your hands, you carefully cradled him as he winced and groaned softly, and you high tailed it outta that cafe.

 

~~~~~~

 

“What could help a wing, what _can_ help a wing, oh I hope it’s fixable..” Biting your nail, you scrolled down the page even faster, Barry sitting next to your laptop. Even after his explanation of “When they smacked your thigh they just barely hit my wing, it’s okay”, you knew it probably wasn’t.

 

_I mean, if birds can hurt their wings easily, shouldn’t it be the same for insects? Maybe not to the same degree, but…_

 

You cared for your new friend, and for that, Barry was grateful. While you had a concerned look on your face, he gazed up at you in wonder.

 

He had an odd thought just then, but hey, he’d never tell ya.

 

“I’m really okay, it’s just...bent a little, is all.” Barry tried to give his wings a test flutter, but his left wing crumpled and folded in a way that wasn’t _too_ painful, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to fly home at this rate.

 

You were focused solely on your bee buddy’s well-being, speed reading to hopefully find a good enough cure. Most pages on Google came up with making splints, or going to the vet. You looked down at Barry as he quickly shifted his eyes elsewhere.

 

_What was he looking at- Oh, of course, he’s probably pissed that his wing is hurt… Damn you Az, you’re a real ass without meaning to! A nice, weird ass… Anyways, I can't take him to a vet- too expensive, they'd laugh at him, or worse, send him to get dissected and  inspected by twisted scientist peeps! Ugh, okay, so the splint..._

 

Barry coughed and you jumped out of your thoughts, coming out of your cage. You were doing just fine. Yeah.

 

“So, what was on the list that scientist gave you? Was that your twin?”

 

You gave a tight lipped smile as you began to explain (“Not related, just a look-alike”) and all that jazz.

 

Huh, maybe Jazz wouldn’t be too bad to listen to right now. You decided on trying to make a splint for him, finding a piece of pencil shavings in a pencil sharpener you tossed somewhere in the abyss of your messy room. Folding that, you got some masking tape, brought Barry closer to you and began to work.

 

After this, you were gonna read over the list Az gave you and do what it said. If anything, Az was nice enough to not mean to smack your thigh so roughly- you remembered the stares of the patrons in the cafe, and you cringe- but you were pretty sure if you didn't take care of their "baby" shrink ray, you'd be smacked into next year.

 

_I swear on DJ Khaled, if I get embarrassed in public again I’m going to kermit to staying home more often, maybe even do my classes from home, and sneak to work every day.._

 

Finishing tightening the ‘splint’, you look at your work- apparently wooden shavings and some tape were a lot for a bee, seeing as Barry was stuck on his side.

 

“Well, I knew I’d be down to work out at some point!”

 

Ah, puns.

 

Hearing a buzz that for once wasn’t Barry, you look at your phone and almost drop it in disbelief.

 

“ _IggyAZalea:_ _Next time you have a bee on you, make sure it doesn’t look at me with that face, okay babe?~ ^w^”_

 

You look to Barry, who’s trying to figure out how to type on your laptop. “By the way, what were those weird rocks you tossed at me in the cafe?”

 

“Crumbs from a muffin.”

 

“...Should I have eaten them?”

 

You sigh and look back to your phone as it vibrates again.

 

_“Also, let that bee know I know it can talk.”_

 

_Hoo boy._


	5. Anything For a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wings aren't food here, friends eat together, and you're just...  
> Friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SO SO SO SO SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE TO UPDATE- LEGIT LIKE A MONTH UGHSDG  
> Anyways, school started, and I'm getting used to college life!~ For those who are scared, it's really not that hard!  
> Yet.  
> o7<  
> I'll start on the next chapter- I feel like I improved more on showing feels- then again I used to make angsty headcanons about shows and such, BUT ANYWAYS.  
> I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE LATEST CHAPTER- WHAT'S THE BUZZ ALL ABOUT?~

Well, like almost every episode of Hannah Montana, your secret was out.

 

You, as fabulous and awesome as you were, managed to befriend a talking bee with the face of Jerry Seinfeld. If you had also been told that in the span of three days you’d have a shrink ray in your possession as you nursed said talking bee back to health, you would’ve laughed and bet your favorite ice cream on it.

 

Well, too bad bitch- you have a shrink ray, you have to nurse a talking bee back to health, so no ice cream for you.

 

The short end of the straw was the epitome of your luck right now.

 

It had only been an hour since you tried to apply a splint to Barry’s messed up wing and he had immediately tried to fly to find a place to rest, which also gave rise to another problem-

 

You’re stuck with your bee boy right now, so where’s he gonna sleep?

 

“Ow-ow!” Hearing the buzz of Barry trying to fly, you look around your kitchen for him. Seeing a blur of yellow hit your counter, you wince.

 

 _Preeetty_ sure he landed on his face.

 

“B-Barry, I don’t think you should fly-”

 

“No! I gotta try! I haven’t even-”

 

He started to hover, and for some _fucking_ reason reached dramatically towards the ceiling fan, whose light was on and whose fan was spinning.

 

“I haven’t even gotten my job as a pollen jock yet!!” Hovering, he gives a painful “Ungh!” as he reaches towards the light and you have one fleeting thought before all heck goes to shizzle dizzle.

 

_He does know that’s not the sun, right?_

 

Barry somehow flew high enough to reach the fan, and true to the power of stupidity, his hand grabbed the string used to turn on the light and then he just-

 

-He flew, for a lack of a better word.

 

“AaaaaAAAAH--!!!!” Barry started swinging on the string, the fan whirring rapidly. If you weren’t so worried about his wing you would’ve laughed at the absurdity of it all- This bee can’t fly, but he looks pretty fly right now!

 

“What is this-?!” You start reaching for the string to get a hold of him, his black and yellow butt smacking you in the face at times.

 

“Beesus christ, Barry it’s just a _fan_ -”

 

“Make it stop!”

 

_Oh yeah, the light switch._

 

You calmly walk over to the switch, pretty sure you could feel his eyes boring into your skull. You flip the switch and the fan starts to slow down, the light off. You hear Barry buzzing and he’s giving you a half-hearted glare, clinging to the string.

 

“A simple “Don’t worry, I’ll save you B-man” would’ve helped me feel a _whole_ lot more safer- walking as my life was on the line..”

 

“Barry, your life wasn’t on the line.” With the most emotionless expression you could muster, you point to him, his legs wrapped around his literal ‘lifeline’.

 

“Your life was on a string.”

 

“God-!”

 

After giggling a bit, you cup Barry gently, setting him on the counter gently as you walked to the fridge.

 

“Lettuce chill for a bit, Bebop.”

 

“What’s a bee-bop?”

 

You take out eggs and lettuce- scratch that, you take out the few things you had left in your fridge- and place them on the stove.

“Barry, have you tried green eggs before?”

 

“What are eggs?”

 

~~~~~~

 

Your rendition of green eggs, while heartfelt in your mind, probably made Dr. Seuss fidget like a spinner in his grave. Burnt, undercooked, and just overall nasty is what you described your culinary masterpiece.

 

_I can’t even cook simple eggs rip me._

 

You look up from your plate, and you see Barry making an effort to eat your cooking, bless his little bee heart. His face was scrunching up and he tried his hardest not to gag, and he didn’t want to look at your face from what you could tell. He used two toothpicks as his knife and fork, cutting into the egg halfheartedly. He coughed a bit.

 

“My c-compliments to the chef..” He coughed.

 

You can’t help but smile.

 

“Thanks! Hopefully we can just have ice cream for dinner next time..” You drift off- Next time? Did you just invite this bee to come back to your cave? Did you just assume there was gonna be a next time? You avert your eyes back to your plate- you said _next time_ meaning you were getting way too friendly with a freaking _bee_ of all things! What if-? Oh God.

 

_What if he thought you said that because he thought you considered this a date?_

 

Pssh, bish please, no need to go that far. The food was crappy anyways, who’d even consider this a date? It’s literally just dinner with a friend, there wasn’t a reason for you to think like that!

 

Feeling less anxious, you look up to see Barry freaking pink like a flamingo, his mouth open just slightly.

 

Oh no.

 

“Oh, yes, that’d be nice, thanks!” Barry could’ve been a fountain with that sputtering, and you can’t help but feel at a loss-

 

_I hope he didn’t take it the wrong way-_

 

“Human food is very…” He gulped, his eyes wide and filled with fear, “Interesting..”

 

Oh, right, your cooking. Thank god it worked as love bug repellant anyways.

 

“Barry, I was thinking, since you can’t fly-” Where were you going with this? “-Maybe it’d be safer if you stayed here till your wing heals?”

 

Barry blinks, his blue eyes looking at your with an emotion you can’t place. Did he think you were pitying him?

 

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother-”

 

“No, no, it’s fine! I should be the one that’s a bother- I mean, it’s my fault anyways- I mean, I’m sorry-!”

 

If you were paying attention like a good samaritan, you would’ve seen Barry giving you a soft smile.

 

Sitting up, chair scratching the floor, you grab your plate and head to the sink, Barry quietly chuckling as you sped away.

 

He can hear you muttering bad things about yourself and he can’t help but frown at how negative you were- He didn’t think you were trash, he thought you were pretty swell. The sound of rushing water and the clinking of glasses can be heard as Barry wonders: Since he’s allowed to stay until he could fly again, he’s pretty grateful, but sad he can’t do anything to help you in return- what good was he, as small as he was?

 

If he could cook he’d help you out.

 

“So since I’m staying, would it be okay if I slept-”

 

You drop a glass.

 

~~~~~

 

Like the idiot you were you dropped a glass- great, that’s coming outta your paycheck. Your frown deepens and for some reason you feel like something is gonna come out of you- a confession? Backstory?

 

The narrator low-key wants to speed this shiz along tbh.

 

Never mind that, Barry needed a place to sleep, that was the important task at hand. Could he use a blanket? A paper towel? A paper towel blanket?

 

“Sure sure! Hold up dude-” You rapidly swing your head from side to side- Aha!! A matchbox!

 

With the power to craft, you swiftly open the box, toss the matches into a drawer- they’d come in handy later, whatevs- and you tear off a paper towel, folding and molding it into the most marshmallow-y ‘mattress’ you could!

 

Stuffing the cute little bundle of paper towel into the matchbox, you felt like your work was done- it didn’t look like used tissues, so you pat yourself on the back for that!

 

Barry’s voice calls your name, and you blink. Right, you hoped he liked it!

 

Anything for a friend.

 

Barry is literally buzzing on the table as you came in with his makeshift bed- his eyes bright, you actually noticed they were a bright blue. Weird, but if you thought about it, it was pretty cool in a sense.

 

“Barry, _bee-hold_ ,” you announce, placing the box in front of him, “Your _Barry_ own bed!”

 

_He looks pretty happy if I’m being honest.._

 

“Oh thank you!” Barry flies into the box, testing it out. He gives a few chuckles, and grins up at you. “Hopefully my wing heals quickly, but I’m actually kinda excited to be here! You’re pretty great!”

 

Where was all this coming from? You quirk a brow at him.

 

“I mean it, I really do. Even though we got off on the wrong foot, we’re friends now- even if it is illegal..” Barry mumbles into his fist. He gives an awkward chuckle and looks back up at you. “Anyways, thanks for helping a bee out. I really appreciate it!” With a smile, he chuckles that odd “ha-ha” of his, and you feel something stir in your chest, something you thought you’d never feel ever since the last time you Skyped your BFF: Giddy. Light. Tingly.

 

Your eyes widen a fraction, Barry’s grin disappearing to be replaced with confused furrowed brows. You start to giggle, this time in true happiness.

 

_Friendship. Damn, I… I really was lonely..!_

 

You start to wheeze, Barry giving you a concerned look but awkwardly laughing with you. Laughing _with you._ You take a deep breath, your smile actually reaching your eyes as you tell Barry to get in the fucking box. He does, tilting his head like a puppy at you. You _really_ need to notice when someone looks at you in wonder or stares at you in general, jeez this is ridiculous.

 

Placing him, along with the box mattress, on the cherry nightstand next to your humble bed, you wheeze out a few more bubbles of laughter. Why was it so funny? It tickled, it felt so warm…

 

Grabbing a huge t-shirt you reserved for your “royally earned” feasts around the holidays, and a pair of sweatpants, you make your way to the bathroom to change, hand muffling loose giggles. Clicking the door shut, you start to undress, happy.

 

…..You were getting dressed.

 

Barry looked at the door you entered, the light coming out from the bottom of it illuminating the carpeted floor. He stared, transfixed at the little shadows that danced from the crack of the door, and he shook his head, facepalming.

 

He was intrigued by you, that was for sure. It also didn’t help that something about you made him want to stay longer. His antennae started ringing, and his eyes shot open quickly, hands reaching to answer the call.

 

_“Barry! Where are you!? I’ve been trying to call you for two days! You have signal so you’re close, right? Your parents are worried sick-!”_

 

“Adam, calm down! I’m okay, cut back on the questions please?” Barry massaged his temples as his cousin, Adam, took a deep breath.

 

_“I am calm. I’m totally calm, I’m just freaking out! You left before choosing a job for the rest of your life, the hive needs us Barry, your family needs you! What were you thinking when you left?!”_

 

“I just- Adam, how’re you not excited with the world beyond the hive? There are dogs, cats, and humans are so weird-”

 

_“Humans?! Oh Barry, no, you didn’t-”_

 

“I did.” Barry shrugged, his smile smug. "Anyways, I can't fly well at the moment, so I'll be relaxing till it gets better."

 

_“Barry I- just- okay. When are you coming back? If your wing is hurt, I can just fly out quickly and help you, don’t be so-”_

 

“Adam, I… I met someone.”

 

_“Oh boy. Why does this sound like I’m gonna yell at you soon-?”_

 

“They’re human, before you start screaming.”

 

Adam screamed, and as you opened the door, your eyebrow quirked up in confusion, you just looked so… cool? Fascinating? You really looked like _someone_ to Barry, and in that split second he flipped his antenna, ending the call, but not before he finished the conversation in a whisper.

 

“I’m going to get to know them, Adam. Call ya back.”

 

Barry smiled and fiddled with his antennae, whistling nonchalantly as you ran a hand through your hair.

 

“Alright then? I don't know what- um.." You closed your mouth, pondering. "Goodnight Barry..” You slipped under the covers of your bed, your eyelids closing. You then give a soft sigh, falling into dreamland. Barry looked at you, eyeing your lips, cheeks, hair, nose-

 

You considered him a friend, but for some reason he didn’t know what to consider you. He just knew you really were something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm using my creative writing class for my ~evil~ crackfic agenda tbh


	6. Another Bee With A Human Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does school have to come back? And Barry seems pretty hungry. Hungry for attention, or....?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! My first semester of school- OVER!!~ I meant to update like two months ago, but finals....and school....  
> Anyways, that's why I made this chapter longer! If you guys are still reading this, lolol~  
> Gotta love making up a plot as I go~

That night you dreamt of bees, flowers, and rainbow lights zig-zagging around you. Just as you were about to transform like a magical girl, a siren began to blare, ringing in your ears and essentially waking you up less than happily. 

 

“You’re toxic, I’m slippin’-”

 

Barry woke up too, shooting up in his little matchbox bed. His eyes popped open and you groaned, falling back into your pillow. Of course, the weekend doesn’t last forever, and you forgot today was The Day- Monday.

 

Great, and you had your math class first- did you even do your homework?

 

I mean, in your defense, you were nursing a talking bee back to health after a lot of science related-shiz happened. Would anyone actually do their homework if that happened to them?

 

You fumble for your phone, Britney’s vocals filling your ears. Being the bad bitch she was, you expected no less from someone who’d always do it again.

 

Oops! Too many references in one sentence!

 

“Ah- What’s that horrible squealing?!” 

 

Barry needed to be educated on culture.

 

You swiped left on your phone, silencing the alarm and sit up with a groan. Lifting your arms up to the sky, you stretch, pop your back gloriously, and sigh. When you looked back to Barry, he was rubbing his eyes, grumbling about sleep. When you looked back on it, you wondered if bees even had a bedtime- how old was Barry anyways? Just ‘cuz his voice was kinda deep like a man’s didn’t mean he wasn’t probably a child-

 

-oh. Maybe you did actually bee-nap a minor. Oh goodie. 

 

“It’s just my alarm, Barry, no need to worry yo-”

 

“Oh, alright. But why would you need an alarm this early in the morning?”

 

“I’m going t’school.” You yawn, and commence rolling out of your burrito cocoon. “S’no big deal..”

 

Barry looks at you slurring on your own speech- who was he to judge? He was a literal bee with a humanoid face!

 

“But aren’t you a little old to go to school-?”

 

“Hey! I’m fresh outta high school and in college- M’not old! Yet!” 

 

Barry holds his hands up, surprised- more for the fact that you pointed at him almost accusingly. He gulped and chuckled nervously. You on the other hand, slouched as you walked into your bathroom. Closing the door, you splash cold water on your face, and start to get ready for the day. 

 

~~~~

 

After slapping your face a couple of times and getting dressed in your bathroom, you remembered the need to feed when your stomach yelled.

 

Barry, sitting on the counter, whistled a tune as you got opened your fridge- quite literally empty as a desert. With a slight frown, you rummaged in the barren wasteland of your fridge, finding a piece of cheese. Blue and green, you figured, “What the heck, I’m hungry anyways,” before popping it into your mouth. Your eyes widened and you felt woke af.

 

Was this what regret felt like when it came up? 

 

“Hey, um, I’m no doctor, but your face is kinda..?”

 

You run to your sink, feeling blue da bu di da bu dai spill from your tongue and into the running water. Yep. That was regret!

 

Running to grab your backpack, you sling it over your shoulder as you grab your keys, Barry wide eyed and looking pretty confused. 

 

“So, um. food-?”

 

You smack a twenty dollar bill on the table, rushing to get out of your humble abode- Almost seven o’clock, you’re on time! You look at Barry.

 

“Barry, I’m gonna teach you about a little thing called the Internet.”

 

“We have that, we’re not cavebees-”

 

“Oh. ‘Kay then. So I’m assuming you can just order food while I’m out?”

 

“Um, maybe, but-”

 

You honestly didn’t mean to bitch at him so early in the morning, but if you didn’t leave right then you’d be late to class. “Good, see ya.”

 

As you rush out of your small apartment, your temporary roommate looks on, even after you slam the door, perplexed and worried.

 

~~~~~

 

You honestly didn’t ask for math classes in higher education, but here you were, writing down formula after formula as your professor droned on about that  _ stupid quadratic formula _ . You almost groan for the fifth time in a row- They should’ve left that formula back in eighth grade and  _ burned it to a crisp. _

 

You yawn, noting your not-so-happy mindset so early in the morning; With a shock of realization, you frown sadly as you remember how you treated Barry earlier. Nobody deserved to be spoken to so rudely, even if they’re small enough to fit in a matchbox. 

With your professor listing the pages in the textbook needing to be done by your next class (Once a week classes- a motherflipping  _ blessing _ ), you stride out with flair. Heck yeah bish, you felt like a boss.

 

With an hour till your next class, you decided to head to the beautiful vending machines- ah, food. 

 

With a hop in your step, you couldn’t help but smile softly as you spotted the square cornucopia of chocolate bars, potato chips, and cookies. Oh, sweet Jebus, you could practically taste the sugar already- 

 

_ Do my eyes deceive me? Ice cream flavored creme? In Oreos?! Ice cream!! _

 

Fumbling for change- and internally wondering if you could change your sugar-addicted ways- you slap one coin, two, into the coin slot. Oh God, you could feel your mouth water, you were so close to having something ice cream related-

 

“Sayoooo!~”

 

Sayo?

 

The loud voice now had a face as you turned around to see  _ oh my mcgoodness why _ . 

 

It was Az. Wearing the straight up dictionary definition of… Whatever that kinda fashion was. Their hair was kept up unevenly with kitty hairclips, and various candy wrappers were stuck on their bright yellow jumper. Waving at you, Az grinned happily, no malice in their eyes.

 

But you’re not that naive, you could just sense the borderline crazy back there.

 

“Sayonara!~ How’re ya doing, babe?~” You sighed, partly because you were just tired, and partly in confusion.

 

“Again with the babe-”

 

“So! I was thinking we could go somewhere…” Az wrapped their arm around your shoulders, hunching you both down. “...Private.”

 

The few students around you gave you odd looks- among the disgusted faces and some girl in glasses  _ blushing _ , you just can’t help but give a weak smile.

 

“I mean, I  _ guess _ -”

 

“Yay!~”

 

As you’re dragged away from the first thing in what feels like  _ decades _ dealing with ice cream, you almost sob as you turn the corner, away from the vending machine. Why did this always happen to you?

 

“Get a room, you hillbilly  _ freaks!” _

 

Ah, having a doppelganger just turned into a curse.

 

~~~~~

 

With you out and Barry alone, he eyed the twenty dollar bill you left him. He knew what money was, sure, but it’s not like he could talk to a human and ask for some food-- he could really get in trouble talking with humans!

 

Well, he spoke to you, but that was different, he liked you. Platonically. Yeah. 

 

Walking around, noting that his wing felt a bit sore, he tried to raise himself off the table with a test flutter. His wings buzzed like a motor, lifting him slowly into the air and allowing Barry to taste freedom before he fell back down to earth. He fell to his knees, the bee’s knees, and slowed his wings down to a gentle hum. His wing wasn’t hurting anymore, but it was sore enough that it felt uncomfortable to hover. Barry shrugged, and looked around. 

 

Stuck on a table, no phone in sight, and money near him; what was he supposed to do? 

 

His stomach roared and Barry blushed, flustered. If you didn’t have a landline to use, then how was he supposed to call for pizza? Wait, did he even know the number? Right, he didn’t. 

 

Oh, how he wished you were here, in a platonic sense of course.

 

“I guess I’ll call Adam…” Barry sighed, speaking to nobody in particular, but hey, he doesn’t need to know you’re reading this.

 

Flipping his antennae, he let the phone ring. Whistling in boredom, Barry searched far and wide and found- wait, on the floor…

 

…Was that a gun?

 

~~~~~

 

“Where did I leave the list?”

 

“Precisely yo!~” Az was practically shivering in glee as they held your hands, a grin tearing into their face. You’d think they were being weird if it weren’t for the fact that there was some sort of hidden evil in their eyes.

 

Anger? Was Az mad at you?

 

Mentally shrugging, you pull out the short list from your backpack, softly rolling your eyes. Unwrapping the crumpled note, you handed it to Az, who giggled all the while.

 

“Rule number one! Don’t leave my baby on the floor!” You wince-- you’re pretty sure you left it in your living room and not in a safe place. Yeah, you left it on the floor.

 

“Rule number two! Don’t mess with the orb unless I tell you to!~” You nod; you never touched the pretty sphere, if anything you marveled at how the holo danced with the swirls of obsidian. Az looks at you, sees you’re calm, and nods quickly. They clear their throat.

 

“And rule number three, make sure to never  _ ever _ pour liquids of any kind on it! Organic or otherwise.~” Az quirks their eyebrows and  _ freaking winks at you _ . “If you’re thinking of me, I’d rather you text me to let me know before you do anything rash, darling.~” You sputter, face hot and burning, while Az giggles. What did they think you were?! Some kinda-?

 

“Besides, if you’re trying to mess with my babe, orange juice is not the way to go. Let me know how it reacts to water first!~” Oh. Well now you felt stupid and trashy-- you actually put your head in the gutter for once, wow. Az gives you something akin to a sincere smile, and quickly loops their arm in yours, keeping you more than linked together. 

 

Locked by the elbows, Az skips you to your next class, babbling all the while. You almost forget to wonder how they knew your schedule.

 

~~~~

 

Barry felt hot. He was a sauna, a volcano, a supernova- Alan had answered his call, just as planned, but…

 

Adam had insisted on coming over, and while Barry was practically desperate with hunger, it’s not like he really knew your address!

 

“ _ What do you mean you don’t know the address?! Barry, how lost are you?!” _

 

“J-Just hold on a second! I’m sure there’s a way to-”

 

“ _ Can you see outside? What does...the human do for a living? I need landmarks! _ ”

 

Barry was gonna pull a Jimmy Neutron for this shiz yo.

 

“Um….They love ice cream..” Barry practically facepalmed- of course! The one place where you two went to buy ice cream together! “The apartment is close to a convenience store! And um…” Think Barry, think! 

 

Adam could be heard on the other side, wings buzzing rapidly. 

 

“ _ This is gonna take a while.. _ ” 

 

After about twenty minutes of Barry trying to give directions, and Adam saying he was flying right up, Barry only hoped that Adam had a ton of honey and honeycomb, anything really. 

 

“ _ Barry, I think I’m in, but I’m in the ventilation! _ ”

 

Good god.

 

“I’m just going to assume you can hear me from somewhere in the vents, Adam?”

 

Adam chuckles before continuing in a lighter tone. “ _ Barry, we’ve been over this already, you’ve got to start thinking Bee! _ ”

 

“ _ Again  _ with the Bee, Adam? Honestly, it just seems like-”

 

“Barry!” 

 

Turning around quickly, Barry falls on his back after beeing tackled by Adam. A striping young bee-man, Adam smiled and adjusted his glasses, flipping his antennae and ending the call. He wore a goldenrod backpack, and in his arms was a plastic bag of-

 

“Honey!!” 

 

Ah, Barry was living.

 

After sitting Adam down before he started his motherly rant, Barry explained it all- meeting you (“Barry, do you have a fever?”), all he knew about your look-alike, and how he hurt his wing (“Barry, you should’ve flown to a safer place.”). Adam would nod, give the occasional comment before being halted from rambling, and he began to fume after hearing Barry’s reasons for wanting to stay longer in the first place.

 

“They’re  _ interesting?! _ ”

 

“Adam, it’s just-”

 

“Your family has been worried sick about you, they didn’t know where you went, you just buzzed out the hive looking for fun, and here you are! A sore wing and taking it easy while the hive is short one worker! Do you understand how much you’ve put us back on honey production? How the cops have sent out pollen jocks to search for you?! H-How…” Adam clenched his fists, and Barry’s eyes widened. With eyes squinting in anger, Adam began to shake slightly. Barry put a hand out to try and calm him down, but then he heard it.

 

A sniffle.

 

“A-Adam?”

 

Eyes glassy, Adam hiccuped, tears plopping out from his eyes. His glasses being splattered with salty tears, Adam couldn’t help but sob out softly. “Y-You didn’t even stop to think about how we felt. How  _ I  _ felt. I-I really felt lonely without my best friend…” Adam angrily wiped at his face, his glasses becoming askew. Barry’s eyebrows furrowed in worry- He actually didn’t think about how everyone felt without him. 

 

Seeing Adam stifle his crying was just the icing on the guilt cake. A painful punch in the gut. 

 

Barry quickly grabbed Adam by the bee shoulders, heart pounding. Adam couldn’t even look Barry in the eyes, sniffling softly. Wrapping his arms around his dear friend, Adam clung back in response. Even though Barry knew he had to say something, anything to show how sorry he felt, he knew the hug had to be enough.

 

They stayed in that silent hug for an eternity, just long enough for you to come home and screech at another bee with a human face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I added angst. Yes Adam is here now. Yes we may have less Reader/Barry interactions, but THAT SHALL CHANGE SOON EHEH~


	7. Is Incest The Reason Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your day at school was odd to say the least, but hey, you came home to see....  
> Something that made you beelieve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO HAPPY FOR THE BREAK AND I'M HAPPY I'M MOTIVATED TO DO STUFF.  
> For those who are new here, welcome! This crack fic is being taken kinda seriously and Idk how to feel about it!~  
> For those who loyally read this, I love ya, and don't ya forget it~ ;3  
> Enjoy yo!~

After Az had followed you into your biology class-- which they were a part of apparently, but all they did was fall asleep for the whole class period-- you wrote down notes and scribbled little doodles in the margins of your notebook. You worried for Barry, who was left alone at home alone with twenty bucks as his only possible food source. You felt pretty bad for just ditching him there when you could’ve brought him to school, but  _ nooo _ , you just had to be grumpy that morning. Your eyebrows scrunch up in worry, a cold feeling gnawing inside your chest. Your heart, it felt cold?

 

Some friend you were. 

 

You could feel your palms start to sweat as your teacher slams his hands onto Az’s desk, waking them up with a snort. Eyes darting around the room, you suddenly felt small, horrible, twisted. You wished the ground would swallow you up as you hear murmuring from other students.  

 

“Pardon, but  _ no sleeping in class. _ ” You hear Az give a giggle from your right, the students behind you rising in volume. 

 

_ I don’t understand, why am I…. I feel like I wanna hurl…. _

 

Taking a deep breath in, you count to ten and inhale once more. Your teacher moves to the front of the room, smacking the book he’s reading off of with the back of his hand, his eyes full of annoyance. 

 

I wonder why you’re feeling so bad, dear Reader. 

 

After shaking softly and wiping your hands on your jeans, you look towards Az, who for once isn’t smiling devilishly at you. Their eyes look blank, their violet hues burning into yours. If you didn’t know any better, you could actually say that maybe they were worried. Jumping slightly in their seat, Az’s eyes focus on you intently. 

 

Oh. They were just staring off into space. Okay.

 

After another hour of speed-writing, nyooming tf outta the slideshow your bio teacher so graciously provided, you were finally set free. Az grabs your arm like before, waving at the teacher with a grin, and waving at the ceiling. 

 

“Keep on typing out this love story yo!~” 

 

Seriously, who was Az talking to?

 

Dragging you through the halls, past the vending machines, and soon to the front of the building, Az set you down on a nearby cushion. You blinked-- They didn’t drag you outside?

 

“Now, dear, sweet babe…” Az grabbed you by the shoulders, not too tightly, but firm enough to confuse you. What was it now? With their eyes bright, a worried expression on their face, Az wore a frown. Not a very good look on them if you had to be honest.

 

“I’m going to let you go home. And you’ll continue your journey.” What even.

 

“Um, Az, I have class tomorrow-”

 

“Papapap!” They shushed you, pressing a finger to your lips. “I won’t be here for a while, my sweetheart. You need to grow as a character-- don’t be that character who likes memes and ice cream.” You raise your eyebrows; did you just get roasted? 

 

Az leaned in, their breath fanning your face. “My honey, I’ll be back, but not tomorrow, okay? Go home and relax.” Before you could even reply, Az quickly moved to give you a sloppy kiss on the forehead, and it was then you heard a girl squealing from behind you. With a gaze filled with longing, or something that made you think of food, Az let you go and pushed you out the double doors. 

 

Um, what the fuck?

 

“Oh God I ship it like FadEx!” You turned to see the same spectacled girl from earlier fanning herself. Yeah, maybe Az did have a good reason to force you out of school.

 

As you began the trek home, you blushed furiously when you realized Az somehow knew your schedule. 

 

~~~~~~

 

Almost twenty minutes of walking, beesus christ why was walking such a chore?! 

 

Anyways, you had finally made it home to your apartment, and you happily inserted the key into the lock of the door. Humming softly, you knew Barry would probably be starving. Heh, bee starving. Wait no, bad pun, bad pun!

 

Maybe you should’ve bought something on the way home? Like, oh, I don’t know,  _ ice cream? _

 

The cold needles stab into your chest once again, and you shake for a second; God, you felt like such a jerk. Swinging the door open, you sighed softly. Kicking off your shoes, you drop your backpack, slide into your slippers and yawn. “Barry? I’m home… I’m sorry for being so rude earlier, I’m just not a morning-”

 

Turning the corner, you see Barry, wide-eyed and in a hug with…..

 

Oh God,  _ another fucking bee with a human face. _

 

You scream. 

 

Why?! Why was this happening to you?! Like, yeah, you’re friends with Barry, but you just assumed he was the only one of his kind- Jerry Seinfeld lookin’ ass with antennae and shiz, gosh darn it! Looking at the new bee carefully, he had glasses, a long face, and a long nose, his bee-complexion a little lighter than Barry’s.

 

Sweet turkey breasts why, why,  _ why? _

 

You expected all this weird shiz to stop, like the shrink ray and a lookalike was one thing, a freaky bee with a human face was another, but  _ another bee?!  _ You had actually felt your life slowing down back to a normal speed-- now what? Is this bee hurt too? 

 

You mentally smacked yourself, trying to stop the internal screamo you were doing. It was just a bee, just another bee! You hummed in thought-- If he had a human face like Barry…

 

…Oh my.

 

“Barry, I know this is a bit rude on my part, but um…” You gulp shyly, point at the pair on your table, and whisper.

 

“Is incest the reason you have humanoid faces?”

 

~~~~~~~

 

After holding back the new bee (He almost flew at you, his face turning red in anger, and while he didn’t cuss you out, you were  _ sure  _ being called a “furry pincushion with a flat body” meant something) , Barry urged you to sit down and listen. He whispered some soothing words to his bee boi and looked between the two of you. Barry calls out your name.

 

“This is Adam, my cousin and best friend. Adam, this is the human I’m living with.”

 

“Living with?!” “Adam” crossed his arms, pouting and turning to the side. “Are you guys sleeping in the same room or something? Oh Barry, you just love to break Bee laws, don’t you-?!”

 

“Your cousin and bff?” You can’t help but smile softly-- It was nice to know Barry actually had a life before meeting you. You couldn’t help but wonder though: If Adam is his best friend, how come he didn’t ask to be taken home with his messed up wing?

 

“ _ Thank you! _ That’s what I’ve been trying to tell this pollenhead for the past  _ hour! _ ” You blink-- You said that out loud, didn’t you? Adam nodded at you, his face both perplexed and amused. Did you say something funny? Barry gives a sheepish smile, and starts to blush. His ocean blue eyes swipe between you and Adam, and he gives a weak chuckle. 

 

“You got me there, hah!” 

 

Nodding once more, you urge Barry to continue, and he does. Barry explains that his wing is still outta commission, Adam came by with food per Barry’s request (You inwardly cringe at your grumpy self from the morning), and how they were just catching up. Adam elbows Barry, coughing out an “Ahem!” before Barry corrects himself. 

 

“Well, I was apologizing for my behavior…” Barry gives a shrug, and Adam groans, rolling his eyes. You feel a warmth in your chest, a light and giddy warmth. Adam turns to look at you, his gaze inquisitive. You smile, then start to laugh. Your life wasn’t going back to normal any time soon, huh?

 

Okay, you’d be able to handle one more bee-- Even if he sounds like Matthew Broderick.

 

As the two Beeple gaze at you, one in confusion, the other in wonder, you unlock your phone and start dialing your local pizza joint. While Adam shouts to Barry about how they’d both probably broke twenty-five laws at this point, Barry’s eyes were just filled with a childish wonder as he watched you lay out an order of food he’d never heard of. Fist pumping the air, he gives a gleeful jump, and after your order is placed, you go to the living room and try tidying up-- Tossing pillows back on your sofa, cradling the shrink ray as you carried it to your room, and finally going back to carry your bee bros. Barry all but leaps into your hand, laughing as Adam tentatively took a step onto your palm, holding onto your thumb as a precaution.

 

You set them on the little coffee table, placing a pillow on there as a means for them to get comfortable. Making your way to your small shelf of DVDs, you pick something at random. It was a comedy, score!! Rushing to set up the DVD player and TV, your bee friends gaze at you and then at each other quizzically.

 

“Th-They seem pretty excited…”

 

“Yeah…” Barry gave a dumb smile, which you caught as you looked up into the TV screen, the reflection showing his eyes lidded slightly and his mouth stretched in a closed grin. Weird.

 

Knocks at your door make you jump over the sofa to accept the offerings of hot pizza, and you toss the twenty dollar bill at the delivery man. It’s tearing into your face now.

 

A smile. 

 

Thanking the precious food giver, you tell him to keep the change, and he thanks you profusely. Giving a twirl and shutting the door, you skip back to the living room where the movie is playing, Adam and Barry giving you amused stares. Placing the box on the table with a flourish, you excitedly open it and present it to them. Ripping off a slice and tearing off the tiny end of it, you put it between Adam and Barry, bubbling about how this was your favorite type of pizza. When they carefully take it and halve it, they take gentle bites of the cheesy goodness. It was a shame they weren’t able to get a topping, but their expressions of wonder and happiness as they chewed made it all worth it. 

 

You smile, a real smile this time, as you realize that while you may have homework, while your life became a slightly derailed mess after meeting Az and Barry, you know you’d probably never change this for anything in the world. 

 

You were gonna have a pizza night with friends, and you were gonna smile for real.

**Author's Note:**

> So um, yeah.  
> It's been a while since I typed up anything- in fact, I'm still pretty new to typing fanfiction. I've only ever made quick little crackfics in the comments on Instagram or in the caption of my own posts, lolol~ So yo, give me some pointers?  
> The plot is just beginning!~ Honestly, it annoyed me about how much detail I added to something that should be simple (a prologue), so PLEASE tell me how I can improve bruh~  
> =7=  
> *spins away*  
> I'm off to type up the next chapter yo~ ;3


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